Journal Entry 28
-Don’t give into reason! I can’t lose you yet! It’s too soon!
Well great. The mom kept wandering into the room every time I contemplated getting dressed, so I ended up waiting till she had left and the bathroom was vacant to change into school clothes. Then Nataly and Elizabeth left without me again, because I had totally forgotten to put my hair in a ponytail and needed an extra minute to do so. As usual I caught up to and passed them before they even made it a quarter of the way to school. Nataly just doesn’t seem capable of walking and talking at the same time, and therefore goes at a snail’s pace in order to keep up her conversation. And about halfway to school, I realized that my toothbrush was still in my skirt pocket, which was just great…
Heh, no teachers first period or second. And someone brought in a laser pointer! I amused (and startled) my classmates by slamming my hands down on the little red dot as it zoomed across my desk. As usual, I couldn’t catch it. There was also a tiny frog, about the size of my thumbnail in the classroom. One of the boys was using a stick to herd it outside. It was absolutely adorable.
Great, first teacher we’ve had all day and it’s the one who refuses to understand that I can not understand quickly spoken Spanish. Luckily, she isn’t trying to teach us anything.
Someone brought in an electric razor, and gave one of the guys a haircut. In class. It was…interesting. And school let out early again today.
Well, lunch was…great. Bad tasting rice, weird tasting bean things, and then what tasted like someone’s bacon fat they had been allowing to congeal for a few months until solid, and then deep fried. It was gross. And came in a can. Like spam. Which means that Vally would have loved it.
Ok, there were cockroaches in the kitchen again last night. Big freaky ones scurrying around, creeping me out. I really do not like bugs. At all. And cockroaches, in the kitchen, where my “food” is prepared does not work for me. Neither does the bathroom. Which today was so clogged with hair, or maybe just backed up, that the bottom of it was flooded, with grey water and clumps of hair. The bathroom still smells, and the toilet is disgusting. I am really not good at dealing with this shit.
Oh yeah. Things are going wonderfully here. Everyone’s shouting again. It seems to be about internet. I’m just going to hide in the room with my empty water bottle. I also still don’t have enough pj bottoms. This sucks. Majorly.
I do not like people touching me, at all. And the mom coming in, picking my feet up and moving them off the end of “my” “bed” and looking at my computer to see what I am doing is starting to send me over the edge. Maybe I should download some porn and just play that whenever she tries to look. I might finally get some privacy. And she needs to stop touching me. And the next person to grab my wrists will get their skull bashed in. With a monkey if need be. Also, now that she knows that I have Ibuprofen, the mom keeps asking me for some. And because it would be too time consuming and awkward to have just told her no to begin with, I keep letting her take some. Hopefully she won’t overdose. It would be tragic. Just tragic.
Tonight was scrounge food. Which means, break out whatever top ramen or cup of noodles I bought and saved, and make that up. There aren’t any left-overs to go through, those get fed to the dog. It’s just buy your own damn food and eat it night. I thought dinner was supposed to be provided? Meaning, I don’t have to pay for it, unless I want something special? Hell, on scrounge nights with Vally we still gave her choices! I’m really sick of this. I didn’t even have the faith to hope that it would even be on the same level as Vally’s exchange. But I also didn’t imagine getting stuck in this crap hole, and being told to live here for eleven months. Next time the classmates start the drinking game, I’m joining in. Maybe drunk Lillie will like this situation better. I dunno, that’s my only hope at this point.
Great. I stopped using the cream I got for my legs about two days ago, and my legs immediately got worse again. They had almost cleared up, but now they are back to how they were when I got here. Plus, I have eight more mosquito bites on my legs and three on my feet.
Nataly had a breakdown today after the shouting match that lasted for about an hour, and just cried on her bed. I attempted to comfort her. I’m not good at comfort. But it was ok. I made her feel useful by making me dinner.
Tomorrow, I have really got to wash my clothes, and sheet, and whatever else I can possibly toss into the “washer”. My “blanket” is blood spotted, my clothes smell, I haven’t got pajama bottoms.
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