You are currently browsing the monthly archive for September 2013.
Journal Entry 24
-A ghost could be humping you right now, and you’d never know.
I did not sleep. Ok, I went to bed at ten, got to sleep around twelve (I blame the “bed” being in quotations), woke up at two, went back to sleep, woke up again at three to hear little scuttering and clicking noises which I had no interest in investigating, then woke up again at 4:47, and decided, fuck this, I’m gonna be woken up in thirteen minutes to get ready for school anyways, which doesn’t even start till 7. Also, loud bass is not conducive to an easy, or even possible, sleep. Someone in the nearby vicinity (oh wait, that included the entire fucking town!) likes to play their “music” between twelve pm and three am. The only time it stops is during a fucking power outage, which luckily happens quite frequently. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: broken glass, doves, evil plans, frozen bubbles, loosing, no sleep, no water, old music, people who couldn't spell losing to save their lives, pequito palms, rats
Journal Entry 23
-Alfie, why is there a sinister beeping coming from behind me?
Ok, time to stop trying to sleep and do something productive! * brushes hair for about two minutes * Well, in my defense, I really need sleep to deal with today’s shit. Nataly’s cousin wandered in when they did, last night, at eleven pm. So glad I did not go with them. There would have been Hell then, instead of just last night and this morning. Well, about eleven, they come into the room, where I am pretending to sleep, not wanting to talk. I notice a second person, and because Elizabeth isn’t supposed to show up until today, I played the peeking game for a while. It was Nataly’s cousin, whose mom I wrote about a while back, the one who was making recycled flower pots and stuff. They turned on the light, and of course, I get an itch from one of the bug bites on my shin. But I really don’t want them to know that I am awake. They get ready for bed, turn off the light, rustle around looking for something, turn the light back on, find it, and turn off the light, sharing Nataly’s bottom bunk. Okay, I’ll finally get some sleep. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: ancient eighties, avoiding family, bad dubs, explosions, going deaf, hello darkness my old friend, late nights, loud music, overfeeding the foreign kid, running water, safe water, storms, texting, thunder, who the hell is Alfie?
Journal Entry 22
-I’m not antisocial. I’m creative, and I don’t like you.
Okay, home alone. Time to party! Or take a shower. Actually, party first, get really high, and then the shower might be somewhat bearable! Fuck, never mind, it doesn’t matter how many happy pills I take, the water is still going to be brown. And coming from a bucket. And rainbowy from the oils on top. And guess what! When I dumped the water that was occupying thee bucket down the drain, I found four spider carcasses and several other smaller bugs. Good thing I was alone, ’cause the noise I made was quite pathetic. So everyone can share in my pain, I included photos of parts of the bathroom for everyone to enjoy! Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: breaking down, bugs, carcasses, challenges, Changuinola, drugs, fail, Humboldt, missing home, orphans, personal space, quitting, spiders, surrender, vomit
Journal Entry 21
-Life, it’s like God’s way of kicking your sorry ass out of heaven and yelling “And don’t come back!”. Death, it’s like God’s way of dragging you back up to heaven by your collar, mumbling “Okay, I think you’ve done enough damage…”
I have no clue what’s going on. Yesterday was a no school day. And I thought it was Friday. So imagine my surprise when I was awoken at five o’clock to get ready for school. On the plus side, I finally got a shower. On the downside, it was still out of a bucket. With cold water. And my stomach still hurts. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: bad dubbing, dirty looks, eating sisters, greasy hair, killing puppies, no school, picking locks, power outage, skipping lunch
Journal Entry 20
-Last night I lay in bed and looked up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
Today has been another bad day. My stomach has been killing me all day, and we are experiencing another power outage. On the plus side, it’s raining. On one part of the downside, they still won’t let me play in the rain, because they are afraid that I will get sick. I am a Humboldt girl. All of my classmates will remember about how all of the school that was able to get out of class, or had no class, would go stand outside in the rain. Stand, look up at the sky like chickens, play in the puddles, laugh. Here, no one laughs, they just huddle beneath structures and hide. I cannot live like this. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: gunshots, homesick, loud noises, Nataly, rain, stomach hurts
Journal Entry 19
-I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe that I am winning.
Today was another abnormal school day. All we’ve done is do a skit, and now we seem to be playing dress-up. Or maybe it’s Have Lillie Strip In The Classroom And Put On A God-Awful Dress Thing. Which is way too tight in the shoulders. You know, either one works. And, sorry, but boys, hands off my fucking buttons. Unless we have been dating for quite a while, you will not take off my shirt for me. And definitely not at school. I do not need boys to help me change my clothes. Fuck, I don’t need anyone. I’m a big girl now, and I’ve figured out that 98% of the time, the left shoe does in fact go on the left foot. That extra 2% is usually for fun. Or just to fuck with someone.
My hair is all gross and stringy, and it smells really bad. Who am I kidding, I smell bad. My hands get all oily just brushing against my hair, and it looks all wet and shiny in the mirror, which I have taken to avoiding. I need a fucking shower with real water. And I need a flushing toilet. My plan before I left the States was to stick it out for three months. It seemed reasonable. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: babies, changing in class, cockroaches, dogs, eating, feeding the mosquitoes, fugly dresses, killing people/loving dogs, privacy, stormy, walking dictionary, water rides
Journal Entry 18
— Squirrels are out to get me. Help.
I woke up with my stomach hurting, and with only twenty minutes before school. I cannot stand mornings here. There’s no place for me to change, which means I have to change while being watched by another girl and a woman, and pretty much the rest of the household parades through every once in a while. The toilet doesn’t flush, the shower doesn’t work, and there is a big fucking hole in the window screen. I woke up with another mosquito bite on my wrist, which is swelling up. AND THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON TO READ THIS OVER MY FUCKING SHOULDER IS GOING TO GET PUNCHED IN THEIR FUCKING STOMACH!!! These people have no idea what personal space is, there are spiders and tarantulas in the house, pubic hair in the shower, power outages, no fucking bathtub, and this is turning out to be THE WORST FUCKING YEAR OF MY LIFE! I am currently wondering if there is a hidden AFS rule about violence. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: feel like killing someone, feeling cranky, feeling stabby, fuck, fucking personal space, fucking whining, Guabito Panama, hippos, obscenity you, personal space, punch, small-town blues, teaching fear, whining, whossamatta u
Journal Entry 17
-Some people ask me why I love to read. Usually, I shrug and tell them I just do. But inside, I’m grinning. Everyone knows that books have the most evil ways to kill someone.
Last night involved a total freakout. The tarantula thing that was on my bed two days ago or so was in the shower. I went to use the faucet to wash my hands and it was right there, the same size as my fist, a grayish brown color, and all hairy. I hightailed it out of there, made a flying leap from the doorway of the bedroom to the bed, and broke down crying. I ended up rocking back and forth, biting my hand, for about an hour. Sleep was not easy.
I also decided not to brush my teeth last night. It could have had something to do with the rustling up in the corner of the ceiling, or the skittering on the floor. The lack of light also played a part. Either way, I made it three steps in, and took one step out. Considering that my mouth tastes like blood and the decomposing body the blood came from whenever I brush my teeth with this water here, I might just forgo brushing for the rest of the year. It hasn’t helped much. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: American stereotypes, being poisoned, corpse water, FML, freakout, good god what's that smell?, love-struck sisters, minecraft, oh lord I need duct tape, pubes everywhere, sharing and not sharing, tarantula, the A-Team
Journal Entry 16
-If stupidity got us into this mess, why can’t it get us out?
Well, woke up to find myself n the middle of another power outage. Which means no fan, and no computer. Also, no washing my clothes. Which is a big problem, because I only have three bras that fit me, and all are in the laundry. Which I cannot do. So now, I have to wear one of my two back-up bras. Which are too small, and seem to be made for someone with triangle-shaped breasts. Which I do not have. On the very short list of things I do have, is a pulled muscle that freaking hurts, and a mosquito bite on my forearm, which has swollen to be larger than a quarter. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: backup bra, blending mice, choking on meat, dirty laundry, I want power, Maddy, minecraft, mosquito bites, nudist, power outage, pranks, rain rain rain, too damned hot
Journal Entry 15
-I swear to drunk we are not God!
-Lake is slippery when dry
Okay, whatever I did, I’m really really really sorry! Once again, my “friend” showed up outside the gate this morning to inform me we were going to school. I need to buy him a calender in addition to the atlas! It’s Saturday. The day on which Lillie sleeps in, lazies about, theoretically plans world domination, or contemplates the odd yellow stain on the ceiling. SHE DOES NOT GO TO SCHOOL! Not knowing how to say it in Spanish, I still threatened to shove my umbrella so far up his ass that the metal tip would protrude out his nose. Wasn’t all that effective…my glare and running my finger across my neck was more so. Nataly had the audacity to mock me about going to school on a Saturday. I informed her that if I was going to school, so was she. The mom backed me up on this. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: baby food, bored, grandmother, holy water, internet, lunatic, minecraft, shower